It was New Year in New York and stocks had blasted upward through their range.
Wife was watching Abby Jo about to ring the closing bell of the exchange.
I got home from work and washed up and sat down at the table to eat.
"I was watching business news today," she told me as I took my seat.
She said "I got news tonight off C-N-B-C and thought maybe I'd better tell.
Today Abby Joseph Cohen broke the hammer on the stock exchange bell."

It seems that Al was nervous 'bout the problems of Y2K.
We upgraded our computers, bought up tech stocks waiting for that day.
But since now everything's upgraded there's no need to go buy something new.
So how stocks can keep on going up and hit new highs I haven't a clue.
And Fleck he warned me Abby's gonna ride 'em down high water or hell.
And all because she broke the hammer as she rang the closing bell.

Wife said "Honey what's the matter, you haven't touched a bite.
Abby says 'Don't worry!' With her stock picks you will be alright.
A man who looks a lot like Alan's gonna dim the lights and drain the bowl.
But that's OK 'cause ev'ryone knows prosperity is on a roll.
And if you're holding Lucent, Microsoft or Xerox you don't need to sell.
Though Abby Joseph Cohen broke the hammer on the closing bell."

One night in the fall after a really heavy trading day
In spite of Abby's picks I was way down much to my dismay
My wife said, "It's OK. Here are the cards, so come on, let's play.
I'll get another coke. Here are the chips. Oh by the way
A woman phoned her name was Marge N. Call she said you had to sell
Is this because Abby broke the hammer on the stock exchange bell?"

A year has come and gone since we heard the news 'bout Abby Jo.
Well GE picked up Honeywell and drinks were on Diageo.
There was a bubble gettin' big and then it burst and NASDAQ tanked last spring.
And now the Dow's stuck in a range and doesn't seem to do much of anything.
And me I spend a lot of time picking stocks that don't warn like Dell.
Since Abby Joseph Cohen broke the hammer on the closing bell.